Magdalene

Gustaaf Vanaise, Magdalene in Christ's tomb, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

So the woman in the whiskey aisle at Dorignac’s squawking becasue they’re out of Famous

Grouse          she just reminds me     I’m never satisfied either     and I’m on maybe my

fourth second chance from You   the same as saying I was saved     and needed to be

saved again and     again     like Mary Magdalene “from whom seven demons had gone out”

I don’t know     but     I want to think it wasn’t just seven demons all at once     but one

after another     and Jesus kept coming back     patiently     to heal her     seven times     each

time He healed her like it was the first and last time     and she washed His feet with her

tears     dried them with her hair     and books say feeling is unimportant in the spiritual life 

I’m not saying feeling is first but     I’d probably be a better person     if I could feel

love You     like when my wife and I were holding hands        we were young     so

young in Brooklyn     and we saw a dead body     in the street a woman     trying to cross

Flatbush     and we stopped our talking     but     we never stopped holding hands     I want

to love You like that     or like Mary Magdalene     waited by your tomb     to watch

they closed the tomb     and she kept looking because     You were there     and

she wanted no one else     because we only begin to live     once we’ve been forgiven

even among the dead     she kept looking for You     though all she could see was stone

Illustration by Blair Gordy Piras of Blair Barlow Art.

Justin Lacour lives in New Orleans with his wife and three children.

[This essay originally appeared in the Fall 2023 issue of Joie de Vivre. To purchase this issue or to subscribe to future issues, click the “Subscribe” tab above.]